“I need so much more therapy than I’m currently getting.”

Synopsis

A dark romance between trauma nurse Aly and her favourite guilty-pleasure MaskTok content creator, Josh.

Reader discretion is advised: this book is a dark romance, which means many triggering topics are discussed or alluded to.

I went into this book with relatively low expectations—it is a BookTok favourite after all, and a dark romance at that; two things I’m becoming increasingly apprehensive about. I believe these romances can often perpetuate toxic relationship dynamics, especially when the reader may be younger than intended. Consensual kinky sex is one thing, but stalking is another—and the near-romanticisation of it can be a bit concerning. Still, I wanted to see what all the fuss was about. Most people seem to have enjoyed it, so why not give it a go? 

Masks, Anonymity, Tropes, and Tension

Until just under halfway through the book, I was actually enjoying it, which honestly shocked me. It was bizarre, but entertaining: a masked thirst-trapper and a trauma nurse starting a relationship in this way was funny. It was far-fetched enough for me to enjoy, since it isn’t usually a romance subgenre I’d gravitate towards. This is definitely dramatised and exaggerated with Josh’s almost godly hacking skills, creating a great balance of humour and sexual tension. 

As the reader is made to root for the romance, hacking and stalking are portrayed as protection. Aly even says: 

“My entire life was devoted to caring for others. I wanted someone to take care of me for once. […] I wanted a man so obsessed that he hacked into cameras to watch me when he couldn’t sleep. […] and threaten to murder anyone who hurt me.”

This is something that actually does happen in the book, which highlights Allen’s sarcastic tone. 

As well as this, the book uses the ‘touch her and die’ trope, recycled across several popular BookTok romances. The premise is straightforward: the male love interest threatens anyone who might hurt the heroine, portrayed as him showing his ‘protective’ side. While this builds sexual tension and emphasises the dominant-submissive dynamic, it ultimately became the main reason I began to dislike the book after the halfway point.

Weird Subplot 

I really disliked the weird “the couple that slays together slays together” subplot. Up until then, I’d actually been enjoying the story—even though this isn’t the kind of romance I’d normally choose, the mix of silly and sexy had me emotionally invested. But once this subplot was introduced, that balance fell apart.

Aly is a trauma nurse, and one of her patients is Bradley Bluhm—a rapist and murderer from a wealthy family that has used its fortune to cover up his crimes. This sparks passing comments about the ethics of the situation, until Bluhm threatens one of Aly’s colleagues. When Aly threatens him in return, he retaliates by breaking into her house and attempting to rape and kill her. The attack is stopped when he’s knocked unconscious, and Aly and Josh end up unintentionally killing him by blocking his airways with duct tape they had used to silence him. 

This leads into a drawn-out sequence of Aly and Josh trying to hide the evidence of their murder while also alerting police to the bodies in Bluhm’s house, all while calling in favours from Aly’s mafia family (because, of course, she’s Italian)—and, naturally, having a lot of kinky sex. It’s clearly an attempt to keep the tone light for a romance, but by this point I was completely disengaged. Josh’s inner monologue even underlines this: 

“The woman was down for kinky sex, knew how I liked my coffee, and was more than willing to aid in the murder of a rapist. What had I done to get so lucky?”  

This is obviously meant as humour to keep the romance element alive, but for me, it completely fell flat.

Another aspect of the story is Josh’s family background. His father was a famous murderer, which is one of the reasons he wears a mask when creating content and a major source of his inner conflict. He fears he’ll follow in his father’s footsteps and even questions whether his BDSM preferences might signal psychopathic traits. But of course, since this is a romance, he doesn’t become a murderer; instead, the characters enjoy sharing sexual fantasies. Allen showcases his non-psychopathic ways further by showing his fond feelings for Aly’s cat and throwing up when having to deal with Bradley’s corpse. 

Overall

It was fine. The weird, drawn-out subplot really pulled me out of the book. I’d actually been finding it quite amusing up until Josh broke into Aly’s house just to film a thirst trap (to mess with her), after she left a comment saying she wished she could come home to see him there in the mask.  Like I said, if he were ugly, this would’ve been a thriller about a weirdo stalker—but because he’s hot, buff, and shares her kinks, it’s presented as romantic.

I think I would’ve enjoyed it more if the subplot had been removed and the focus had stayed on the MaskTok creator-consumer dynamic. The humour in Josh’s stalking and breaking-and-entering worked because it was just him teasing her, and it built great tension. But once the rapist subplot was introduced, the tone completely shifted, and I lost interest. For those reasons, I give it a two-and-a-half star rating.